Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts: This new thesaurus I bought is the worst.. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"
My dad was at the doctors and asked the nurse if she was going to give him Viagra, the nurse said why would I give you Viagra? My dad replied, so I don’t roll out of bed!
An old lady is watching tv as her husband comes into the room. She says, before you sit down would you get me some ice cream. Sure he says what kind, vanilla she says. As he heads to get the ice cream she yells add some nuts and write it down, you remember what the doctor said, you forget everything. I got it vanilla and nuts. Add some whipped cream too and write it down. I won't forget he yells, I don't need to write it down. Ten minutes later he puts a tray on her lap with a plate of bacon and eggs on it. She yells at him - you old fool, I told you to write it down - you forgot the #|#*" TOAST!!!!
